Measurements of success...

I have the unique benefit of having a father who worked his way up in "corporate America", and eventually opened his own business - achieving many successes along the way. I watched him build his company from nothing, and saw the financial impact his success had on our family. He worked tirelessly, and traveled whenever necessary. My mother, who worked full-time as a nurse, was our primary care giver, and most of my childhood memories include her...and not him.

I grew up thinking that to achieve a certain level of success you MUST make sacrifices. My dad sacrificed time with his wife and children, time with friends, and in some cases his health to attain a level of professional zen. So, as I set off on my journey through corporate America, I believed that my only path to real success was that of sacrifice.

Not long ago, after working on a project for what felt like an eternity, I went to someone in my management that I held in very high regard. I told him that in my current role I felt as though I was unable to do all the things that had made me a success in the past. I quantified success to deployments, releases, and seeing new functionality implemented. However, my new role didn't provide me any of that satisfaction. His response was eye opening, and in a more profound way than I realized at the time.

His response was simply this..."you need to redefine your success criteria".

At the time I took this, applied it to my professional situation, and worked to do just that - define new success criteria. But the more I thought about this, I knew this message held a much deeper meaning. It was only after having a very honest conversation with my father about some other professional opportunities that had been presented to me that I realized what I needed to focus on. My father acknowledged to me that he made the only choices he thought he could at the time, but in hindsight realizes they were wrong. He looked me in the eye and told me that he knows his relationship with my sister and I will always be less than what he would have hoped for because of his choices. Now, as an adult, I can understand why he did what he did. I feel the pressure at work to perform, put in OT, always be available, always say Yes, and ultimately make sacrifices that impact my family. This is the same pressure he felt, but I have the advantage of learning from his mistakes.

So now it is time for me to truly "redefine my success criteria". None of the things I do at work will ever out do the wonderful child I was able to bring in to this world. No amount of implementations will ever be as satisfying as spending a night talking and laughing with my amazing husband. Lastly, no amount of compensation or recognition from my management will feel as rewarding as looking myself in the mirror and knowing that I put my family and myself above my job. I am challenging myself in 2009 to remember my "success criteria" and stay true to it.