Measurements of success...

I have the unique benefit of having a father who worked his way up in "corporate America", and eventually opened his own business - achieving many successes along the way. I watched him build his company from nothing, and saw the financial impact his success had on our family. He worked tirelessly, and traveled whenever necessary. My mother, who worked full-time as a nurse, was our primary care giver, and most of my childhood memories include her...and not him.

I grew up thinking that to achieve a certain level of success you MUST make sacrifices. My dad sacrificed time with his wife and children, time with friends, and in some cases his health to attain a level of professional zen. So, as I set off on my journey through corporate America, I believed that my only path to real success was that of sacrifice.

Not long ago, after working on a project for what felt like an eternity, I went to someone in my management that I held in very high regard. I told him that in my current role I felt as though I was unable to do all the things that had made me a success in the past. I quantified success to deployments, releases, and seeing new functionality implemented. However, my new role didn't provide me any of that satisfaction. His response was eye opening, and in a more profound way than I realized at the time.

His response was simply this..."you need to redefine your success criteria".

At the time I took this, applied it to my professional situation, and worked to do just that - define new success criteria. But the more I thought about this, I knew this message held a much deeper meaning. It was only after having a very honest conversation with my father about some other professional opportunities that had been presented to me that I realized what I needed to focus on. My father acknowledged to me that he made the only choices he thought he could at the time, but in hindsight realizes they were wrong. He looked me in the eye and told me that he knows his relationship with my sister and I will always be less than what he would have hoped for because of his choices. Now, as an adult, I can understand why he did what he did. I feel the pressure at work to perform, put in OT, always be available, always say Yes, and ultimately make sacrifices that impact my family. This is the same pressure he felt, but I have the advantage of learning from his mistakes.

So now it is time for me to truly "redefine my success criteria". None of the things I do at work will ever out do the wonderful child I was able to bring in to this world. No amount of implementations will ever be as satisfying as spending a night talking and laughing with my amazing husband. Lastly, no amount of compensation or recognition from my management will feel as rewarding as looking myself in the mirror and knowing that I put my family and myself above my job. I am challenging myself in 2009 to remember my "success criteria" and stay true to it.

After 15 years...

My husband, Kyle, and I met when I was 16 and he was 17. He was the "athletic" type, while I was the poetry reading, 'The Smiths' listening, thought I was above the high school crowd type. For some reason we were instantly attracted to each other, which I would attribute to the fact that we both love to laugh.

Over the years, I have certainly teased him about being smarter than him. There are many things that led me to this conclusion, so let us analyze...

I have a fine arts background. I know about art, music, literature...I graduated from one of the best music schools. I have been to Europe twice, and actually have classical music on my iPod - that I listen too! I listen to jazz and quit getting perms before I was out of highschool.

He has a degree in computer science, two of them actually. Knows all about football, Nascar, cars, breast size and rap music. Wore white jeans on our first date (honestly, who does that and expects to get lucky?). Has probably logged more time playing video games than an astronaut spends in a flight simulator.

Now - here is the part that I hate to admit. Unlike me, Kyle has a masters degree...and would you believe he actually works in the field that he studies - who honestly does that! Kyle has been to more operas or live theatrical productions than I have been to sporting events. Kyle does enjoy classical music, jazz music, and just about any type of music you can think of. He also helped me understand football, and I can honestly say that I look forward to football season, actively watch as many games as I can, and dred when it's over. Kyle has definitely read more books than me in the last several years, and not just technical crap, really good books (dare I say, literature?)

So alas, while I might have had a head start on him at age 16, he has definitely surpassed me some 15 plus years later. He is more than I ever imagined he could be, and he just keeps getting better - as a father, husband, and friend.

In hind sight, the smartest thing I have done is looking past the white jeans, albeit difficult, and building a life with him.

How I got here...

I have never had a desire to blog until recently. I read a coworkers blog and somehow felt inspired to start my own. I am not entirely certain what I will share, but am brainstorming on the topics I will blog about:

1. My husband - If you haven't met him then you are truly missing one of life's wonders. Seriously, this guy is hilarious! Plus, he has the added bonus of being one of the most decent people I know.

2. Being a parent - My journey into motherhood should be the story line of a Lifetime made-for-tv movie, and not the sweet sappy kind either. I have come to enjoy being a mother, and adore my daughter Abbie. But, I am not afraid to say that it doesn't come naturally to me and that some times I just plain don't like it.

3. My work - My job is the greatest source of stress in my life. It is a love/hate relationship that at times feels like some kind of force sucking my will to live...only to be followed by a great productive day surrounded by coworkers who are truly good people.

I know there will be a lot more topics/stories that come to mind...now, to choose the first tale to be documented here...more to come.